I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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