What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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