Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
