I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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