She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
