Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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