I'm gonna have a badass scar
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Randomize
