Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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