Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
