Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
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