you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
