just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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