ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
did i walk over a car last night?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
