uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Randomize
