so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
