Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Sorry about my life...
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
