Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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