beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
