also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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