Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
