super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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