coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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