I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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