you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
