too bad you live with your parents still
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
