she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
