My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
