So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
