Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I pour the whiskey from now on
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
