There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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