i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
