how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
