he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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