rhymes with "ouble enetration"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
it's not cheating when I paid for it
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize