My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
