I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
