how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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