I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
