I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
