batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
