so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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