So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
