Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
