Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
