she takes plan B like it's going out of style
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
