kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
