they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
