my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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