He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
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