You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
