Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
