we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
