you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
